| Charlie
 Every
once in awhile there is an extra special puppy born that is hard to part
with. Charlie was no doubt a special puppy since day one. We really wanted
to keep him, but then came along Leah, who purchased him at only a few weeks
of age. We could have never imagined how much he would impact her life!
After many long weeks of waiting, Leah finally had her new baby Charlie in
her arms. Unfortunately, after only a week, Charlie was attacked by an older
dog...
Her
letter's brought us all to tears, if only all of our puppies could find an
owner who is as loving as Leah.
Dear Jamie:
I just want to thank you for
the blessing you gave me. It may have been short-lived, and I feel I didn’t
get near enough time with him, but he made such an impact in my life. I
couldn’t go back home for three days afterwards- the house felt so empty. He
was only here for five days, but he brought so much life and vivacity where
there was none prior. He gave me more smiles than I’ve had in years, and
more happiness than I could have ever wished for. He made me a different
person from the moment I approached him in the airport. It was love at first
sight. We were truly inseparable from that second on. He ran errands with
me, went to Petsmart, went to see family, he followed me everywhere. I still
had to help him with the steps upstairs, though. When I showered, he laid on
my dirty clothes on the floor until I was out. He slept curled up by my neck
at night, and woke me up with tiny puppy kisses at 9 every morning. He was
already a pro at potty training, and became especially attached to a little
yellow sponge ball he would chase around outside. He loved sitting in the
grass with me in the shade, and running laps around me until he collapsed
with exhaustion wagging a panting little curled tongue. I have to say on
numerous occasions I smiled to myself and thanked you silently for raising
him with so much love, for surely only a friend as perfect as he was could
have come from somewhere where he was given endless amounts of attention and
affection. So thank you- this time in writing.
 I
think so often people acquire dogs or puppies for the companionship, or
simply for the sake of having a dog. I want you to know that Charlie was my
companion, but so much more than that. He gave me something I always knew I
was missing, but never understood what it was. He was truly my little ray of
sunshine. He made me glad to be alive, and eager to wake up each day to see
what it had in store for us. I really do miss him terribly, but find
consolation in that he passed knowing how much I love him. And he passed
knowing he had been loved from the second he entered this world. I look
forward to when I’ll get to see him again.
I also want you to know that
when the time is right, I’d be very interested in another pup from you. I
know I’ll never be able to replace Charlie, but I’d surely like to see him
live on in Charlie Jr. I hope you’ll keep in touch with me, and let me know
when you see him in another pup. I only want to buy from you, because I know
no matter what, he’ll be an exceptional little friend. Until then, I’ll
smile for the many memories I collected in a mere few days. I really do
believe that it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved
at all. Thank you again, Jamie, for everything you have done for me. You’ve
been so kind since I first contacted you, and you’ve done more for me than
you will ever know. Please keep in touch, and hopefully in the spring you’ll
have good news for me. Thanks again, and take care.
Second Letter
 I'm
not surprised that you say he came from the best litter you've had- I
couldn't imagine any better! And I'm willing to wait however long it may
take for Charlie Jr. While he was here, he had a stuffed blue teddy bear
that played 'Rock-A-Bye Baby' when you'd squeeze it. When I squeezed it for
the first time, I got to see him cock his head back and forth like you had
told me about. After the song was done playing, he would look back up at me
until I squeezed it again, over and over. Even though the bear was about as
big as him, he would pounce on him just to hear the music. I buried him with
his blanket, squeaky toy, and his little yellow ball- but I kept the blue
bear for myself.
The night he passed away at the emergency vet, I watched everything they did
from the waiting area. I prayed over and over as I watched five of them
hover over him. Immediately after I handed him to them I heard him whimper
for the last time as they tried to remove the blood from his head and ease
the swelling in his brain. They gave him some anesthesia and soon he felt
nothing. I watched as needle after needle was being used and discarded. I
cried, I prayed, I swayed back and forth-in my pajamas and bare feet on the
cold tiled floor. I begged to God that he let me keep my baby, that I'd get
to hold him again. Right after the anesthesia, they put him on a heart
monitor. I got to listen to his erratic heart beat- it seemed to echo
through the room. There were times when my breath cut short from lapses
between beats. For twenty minutes I watched, and paced, and mouthed prayer
after prayer. Towards the end, I watched one nurse perform CPR on his little
body as she felt for a pulse and watched the clock. There were times when
she'd glance over at me, and then look away quickly. I turned for a moment,
and heard the last beep from the monitor. My heart sank as I watched them
search for a pulse, and then shake their heads. It was like a scene straight
from a movie. The doctor approached me, and told me that, 'Charlie just
passed away, I'm sorry.' I rushed for the door outside, and once in the
privacy of the night collapsed and lost control. My mom helped me to the
car, as I had called my parents as soon as the accident happened.
 That
night was arguably the longest of my life. I cried until I lost my voice,
and my eyes swoll shut. I held Charlie at my parents home, he looked so
perfect, I rocked him, and I apologized for letting this happen to him. I
had told him the whole way to the vet's that he would be okay, as he stared
at me with distant eyes. I felt I let him down. I was a bad mother. Wrapped
in a blanket, I held him on my chest trying to keep him warm. I finally let
go the next morning, kissed his cold nose, and lay him to rest. The night
before, the veterinarians had made an imprint of his little foot on a small
heart shaped blue ornament. They spelled his name wrong, but, it made me
feel like I still had a little part of him to hold. I could run my thumb
over the little pawprint just like when I held his tiny paws when he was
still here. I put a ribbon on the ornament, and tied it around his blue
bears' neck. Now I sleep with the bear every night- and when I miss him, I
just run my finger over his print. It brings me comfort, and it's nice to
know that his paw sat right where I can put my finger.
I just thought I'd share that with you, to know that I still have a little
piece of him here with me. He's my little guardian angel dog, and I still
feel like he's here around me playing, even though I can't see him. Here is
a picture of the ornament, as well. Let me know if you decide to make a page
on your site. Thank you for your prayers, and your thoughts. Along with
time, they make me stronger. Keep in touch! Thanks Jamie.
Sincerely,
Leah Belverd
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